Kurt's little secret
by everythingglee
Summary: No one knows what happened to Kurt Hummel before he entered high school other than the fact that his mother dies when he was 8. Why won't he tell anyone about it and what is he hiding? From a secret family member to multiple trips to the hospital, what could have happened to Kurt? Klaine, Kurtana, New Directions


**A/N: Hey guys this is just a one-shot about Kurt's past. I mean, among all the glee characters, Kurt is one of the few who doesn't really have much of a past other than the fact that his mom dies when he was eight and his dad had to take care of him. I don't exactly wish this was his past but it seems more interesting to me. If I have the time and the inspiration I might just write for Santana because that would be interesting. This is my first one-shot so I hope you like it.**

**Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Kurt/Santana(Friendship), Kurt/OC(Friendship), Kurt/OC(Friendship)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Glee characters or Glee itself because as you know, they belong to RIB though I do own some of these characters and I'm happy with how they turned out.**

**Some of the content in this story may not be logically true or believable but I just want to remind you that this is a fanfiction and I'm 13, I still have a lot to learn in terms of general knowledge, language and vocab wise so be patient with me and ignore my spelling or punctuation mistakes. Thank you. On another note, I love all the characters in Glee, they were written to perfection and the bashing in this story, which is very minor, is only here for the sake of the storyline. In no way do I hate Finchel because I love them and they are endgame. No comment or hate to those who do not, I respect your opinion and I would appreciate it if you respect mine as well. I know there are a lot of additional information in the beginning that seems unnecessary but trust me, it is all relevant. Keep reading if you want to actually find out about Kurt's past. Enough of my blabbering, the story starts...NOW.**

Kurt Hummel wasn't as truthful and honest as others believed him to be. Just like any other person, he had his secrets that he preferred to keep hidden because he knew this information would change the perspective in which he is viewed by other people. He didn't like unwanted attention, he hated being looked at with pitying, calculating eyes and he most certainly didn't like people meddling in his business. No one knew what had happened to the out-and-proud Kurt Hummel before he entered High School other than the fact that his mother had passed away when he was 8, even then this information normally had to be forced out of him when someone posed the question or mentioned his mother, Elizabeth Hummel. None of his friends in New Directions knew anything about this or ever suspected anything. Besides, it wasn't like he was the only one who didn't talk much about his past. He had never heard Santana, Brittany or Mercedes utter a word about their past or what it was like and he never badgered them about it because that would leave him more exposed and forced to trade in something of his own which he was not ready for at the moment.

He hadn't even told his closest of his friends yet. People like Finn, Rachel (though he would deny it if ever anyone asked), Mercedes, Brittany and of course Blaine were the people he considered close to him in one way or another. Finn was his brother, thus he had no choice but to spend time with him though he did enjoy playing Call of Duty and Halo with him.

He only became friends with Rachel at that time because she was Finn's girlfriend. Their relationship developed further when they discovered that they had a couple of things in common and decided to build on that instead of focusing on their differences.

Mercedes was his best friend right from the start of Glee. She was his hag and first fruit fly so he stayed loyal to her because no matter what, she would always make it up to him eventually; he just always needed patience with her.

He had been close to Brittany ever since his straight phase when they dated. He didn't even know why he did it in the first place. Even _when_ dating Brittany, he had known fully well that he couldn't turn straight overnight, or in his case, over-week. Maybe it was the jealousy that clouded his judgement. Whatever it was, he knew he could never bring himself to regret that week he spent with Brittany. When they weren't kissing for show or kissing just to satisfy Brittany, they had cuddled on a couch in Kurt's room and talked about nonsense. An experience Kurt thoroughly enjoyed because he had gained a new friend. It wasn't all that hard breaking up with Brittany. She looked like it but she was nowhere near fragile. She never stopped talking to him afterwards. After a while, she started calling him her 'favourite dolphin'. Santana had been reluctant to trust him with Brittany at first but after a long conversation that was more like an interrogation, she let it go with a simple, "If she trusts you then I guess I can try to trust you."

Then there was Blaine; the love of his life, his boyfriend. Blaine gave him courage when he felt weak. He accompanied him when he felt lonely and he sang to him when he was asleep. Blaine didn't think he had ever heard it but Kurt constantly fake-slept just so he could hear his boyfriend's beautiful voice. The one thing Kurt couldn't believe was that Blaine loved him unconditionally and smiled so lovingly Kurt thought he could melt. He just didn't think it was true. Why would Blaine love someone as broken as him, whether Blaine knew he was broken or not. He loved Blaine more than anything.

Kurt had a good reason not to tell his friends and he would list them in his head one by one.

Finn, although lived with him, didn't know squat about his past but maybe that had to do with the fact that he never dared to ask or he was too dense and oblivious to realize that Kurt had mentioned a few things or he just didn't care. Either way, he was completely behind on what Carole had learnt about her new step-son though he didn't plan on telling Finn anytime soon just out of revenge for the way Finn had treated him and Carole was more than fine with it. Finn used to go to Kurt for all his problems, taking advantage of his strange crush on the boy to his advantage which Kurt didn't mind at that time because it meant that he would get to spend more time with the 'gentle giant' but the dynamics of their relationship changed after the whole basement 'f word' incident that Kurt would never forget. It also served as a daily reminder that although they were now brothers, they didn't have to share anything and Kurt did not have an obligation to tell him about his past. It was like his safe word. Every time he felt like he could tell Finn because he was now family, he forced himself to remember Finn's voice saying that word over and over again.

Rachel was never a person that Kurt confided in, often finding her very irritating and her actions unnerving. Sure, they had buried the hatchet and stopped their constant fighting but that did not mean that Kurt had stopped judging her sense of style or her arrogance that was overly overwhelming, he wondered how much that tiny body of hers would be able to take and not to mention that big mouth of hers. Rachel was tolerated but never liked. Heck, sometimes she wasn't even tolerated. Sure, some people in Glee actually like her, an example would be Finn but he was a male, a teenage male with hormones and needs. Perhaps he had some kink for bossy, demanding girls. First he was with Quinn and now with Rachel. Who next? Santana? He had no idea what was going through Finn's mind when he asked these girls to date him. Back to the topic at hand, Rachel _knew_ she was at the lowest of the low on the food chain and would do anything to climb to the top somehow though it was impossible if she continued dressing like a cross between a grandma and a 5-year old girl. She would take advantage of every opportunity she could to spread some gossip that would eventually make her famous among the student body.

Mercedes was Kurt's best friend, that was true, but they never actually talked about anything other than music and boys. They had never had a real heart-to-heart conversation about things that actually mattered which was probably why their relationship was on the rocks and the reason he didn't bother telling her in the first place. Mercedes was confusing sometimes, she called herself Kurt's best friend and yet she had ditched him for the guy she thought liked her – aka Puckerman – then blamed Kurt for not telling her that the relationship wouldn't work when that was constantly what he told her to which she had ignored saying that he wasn't being supportive enough. They would argue and she would ignore him for a whole week before she would be at his side, talking animatedly about a boy she met somewhere in a convenient store. What did she take him for? No really, what did she take him for because he sure as hell didn't know. Sure he had ditched her to be with Blaine but that was a different story completely. Try being forcibly kissed by the person you thought was trying to kill you who then threatened to kill you if you told anyone about said kiss. God his head hurt just from thinking but at that time he needed someone who could understand his situation and that definitely wasn't Mercedes. _That _would be a long, dreadful, awkward conversation should they ever have it which Kurt hoped was never. She wasn't even there when Blaine had his gap attack fiasco and he had to go to Rachel, _Rachel_ for goodness sake though he shall not mention how Rachel helped him a lot because those were words he swore never to escape his mouth. In conclusion, no, he hadn't told Mercedes.

He had always trusted Brittany, more than even Mercedes, because he knew she would never ever intentionally hurt someone which was his rationale behind not telling her in the first place. Brittany may be harmless but she was a little clueless as well and she could easily let something slip without even realizing it and he couldn't take any chances of that happening given the kind of crown Brittany hanged out with. When not with Santana or Quinn, she would either be around her fellow cheerios or some jocks who wanted to get in her pants. He felt disgusted even thinking about the guys who wanted to take advantage of the sweetest girl Kurt had ever met. He shuddered at the mere thought of it. He was immensely thankful for Artie though. He made her realize that she could be loved as much as she could be used, even more than that even and all thanks to Artie. Artie knew Brittany was in love with Santana but fought for her anyway because he knew deep down that she loved him too and Kurt respected him for that no matter how much he thought Santana and Brittany needed to be happy. Brittany knew what she was doing most of the time and she understood everything everyone said though it would take a while, she still understood and it was unfair to Kurt that a lot of people thought she couldn't understand anything.

He never told Blaine either and he had good reason why. Who would spill their guts to a guy he knew for a shorter period of time compared to his own friends and step-brother who he hadn't told. He may have told Blaine about the Karofsky situation but that was much less disturbing compared to what he had gone through as a kid. Even _after_ they got together, Kurt was never brave enough to relive his past. He could never work up the courage to tell him. Sure, he could work up the courage to stand up to his bullies despite where that led him but he couldn't tell the person he _loved_ who he possibly thought as a soulmate to learnt the truth about him. Blaine was never unsupportive, unreasonable or irrational and never, _ever_ intended to hurt anyone which was clearly shown when he sang a song with so many obvious innuendos that he was surprised the warblers weren't sued. They did it in a GAP store for _fucks _sake. Not to forget the 'Am I Bi or Gay?' incident. He might forgive Rachel for hurting him despite knowing how much Kurt liked the guy but he would never forget. _Ever_.

The only person who actually knew about his past was Santana, which, in his defence, was a complete accident. It happened in the week April Rhodes had 'taken over the glee club' after Rachel's outburst that caused her to quit Glee and join a play written by Sandy Rivers. Those were the times he had wondered to himself if Rachel actually thought before she acted on her crazy ideas? The week had gone by in a haze. He remembered drinking a lot and he meant _a lot_ of alcohol that Ms Rhodes taught to mix and match, comparing the dynamics to that of clothes which immediately attracted Kurt to the idea of it. She had taught him how to hold his liquor so that he wouldn't be totally wasted which didn't exactly work because the Sunday morning after, he had woken up with a major hangover and not much of a clue as to what had happened that week, it was all so hazy. He did remember throwing up on Ms Pillsbury and babbling on about bambi and his mother. He also remembered something else that happened that week, something he regretted and hoped that never actually happened but his fears were confirmed when the next day in school, Santana had cornered him and demanded for answers. Apparently, during his 5 days of alcohol, he had agreed to go to an actual bar with an actual fake I.D with an actual Santana. He should stop doing that. Anyway, he had drunk a lot of tequila shots that night and according to Santana, after the first 8 shots, he was sobbing over his mother. After 14 shots, he was sobbing about a boy he knew when he was younger and after the 20th shot; he had knocked out mumbling about killing some guys with knives, torturing them slowly which for whatever god forsaken reason, Santana told him that it turned her on so now he knew he had no choice but to tell her what happened in the past. What happened to him in the past and he couldn't run from it anymore so he spilled his guts to her and cried on her shoulder while she stared at a wall in shock and anger, one hand constantly rubbing his arm. She had asked if he ever asked for help or gotten help and he scoffed despite his crying state.

Kurt had tried getting help when he was younger. His dad sent him to every therapist they could find and afford but the outcome was what was expected, at least in Kurt's opinion. Therapy was bullshit, a waste of money and precious, precious time. Most of it was spent staring at the clock, urging time to tick by faster so he could get out of that hell hole. Therapy was supposed to _help_? It was more like adults trying to get troubled children into a more depressing state by telling them that what happened to them was their entire fault and then asking if they did what they did because they blamed themselves for what happened. What a bunch of crap. The kids who didn't blame themselves were probably doing just that right now all due to therapy. Hell, teachers could understand kids better and they were paid to teach not council but they did it anyway and he was thankful to one particular teacher who helped him through everything.

Even at such a young age, Kurt was forced to mature faster than any of the other kids in his school. He understood what most 13 year olds understood at the age of 8 not because he was a fast learner, not because he wanted to, not because he was hard working but because he had no choice. He sometimes wondered if Blaine had to go through that when he was younger or if it was just that once that he was beaten after his Sadie-hawkins dance. He had cried his eyes out when Blaine told him about the details that happened during that night in Dalton after the Warbler party. His boyfriend had cried himself to sleep at the memory of the night and at that moment, Kurt debated whether or not to spill out everything to Blaine so that the pain would stop but when he saw the peaceful expression on his boyfriend's face as he cuddled closer to warm body next to him, Kurt just couldn't do it but promised that he would do it another time and every time he had an opening he would just chicken out and he was ashamed, guilty that his sweet, loving, adorable, strong boyfriend had told him about the worst night of his life and yet he didn't have the guts to tell him he understood by actually explaining what happened. Kurt huffed at the memory. It was definitely true, he was a 'scaredy-cat', a coward and what not but he wasn't ready and Kurt feared he never would be.

What he found thoroughly amusing, though, was that he had these solid walls built up around him and yet no one noticed that it was there because they didn't think for a second that he was guarded the way he was acting. He supposed they had underestimated his acting skills. The walls were right there, his constant companion, other than Blaine of course. He knew he was safe because if no one knew that it was there, no one would try to break it, no one would succeed in breaking it and he would just keep himself locked in the safe cell he had built for himself, fully equipped with Vogue magazines, an endless collection of DVDs, thousands of songs on his iPod and a whole lot of diaries filled with hate. Hate for the world, for the people in it and one that popped up majority of the time, hate for himself. It was the kind of hate that he could suppress in the outside world but let out his frustrations here, in his safe place where the walls wouldn't crumble or crack. Most people would think that all he thought about was fashion, what to wear the next day, what to wear the day after. Music: what songs are suitable for my voice? Kurt had to roll his eyes at that. He was no self-absorbed Rachel Berry, that was for sure but that's what people thought and he didn't necessarily care. Sometimes, they were true but most of the time, he would just analyse everything around him. Reasoning with himself. Arguing with himself. It was like he was always caught in his own mind when he didn't have anything else to distract himself and that was exactly the case at that very moment. Finn and the boys had football practise. Rachel had her ballet lesson. The Unholy Trinity were probably banging someone, in Santana's and Brittany's case and Quinn was probably ruining someone's life which he wouldn't mind watching. It was fun. Mercedes and Tina were out shopping. They weren't being very successfully secretive with their motives as to why they were going shopping without him because that was a rare occasion but Kurt could guess why they did it, whether he welcomed the gesture or not, which he didn't by the way. Blaine had gone back to Dalton to visit the Warblers. He had refused _that_ with a very cliché excuse of having too much homework to complete in so little time which wasn't true. It lame excuse but he knew Blaine was too much of a gentleman to push any further. The real reason he was alone in his room, lost in his own brain was because tomorrow was May 27th, the day he loathed more than anything.

He hated birthdays, especially his own. He didn't see any point in celebrating it when all it brought back was painful memories. His friends were no help either. How do you forget one of the worst days of your life when your friends had to constantly remind you of it each year? It was extremely depressing for Kurt to spend his birthday alone, he knew that but he would rather drown in his own sadness than allow himself to be exposed to his friends where he could break and be vulnerable in front of them. Even his father had agreed to leave him be during his birthday with a promise to bring him out the next day for their annual Pancakes and Ice cream. He did hope however that Mercedes and Tina had not gone overboard with the birthday presents this year and he wouldn't be forced to return any gifts.

**LINE BREAK**

"I don't understand why you had to bring me all the way to Westerville for waffles and ice cream. I'm already going to "Pancake FreezO" tomorrow anyway," Kurt whined.

"Yes, I know but that would be with your dad and I wanted to spend time alone with you even if it's just for waffles and Ice-cream," Blaine cooed gently. He then leaned down and attached his lips to Kurt who hummed in content and kissed back slowly. "Come on, let's go in," Blaine suggested against his lips. Kurt smiled back at him and unlocked the door to his house which was surprisingly dark and he rolled his eyes. Finn had probably forgotten to turn on the lights when and if he went out earlier. He felt Blaine wrap his arms around his waist and led them in slowly, flicking on the light switch at the same time while his other hand remained firmly on his hip. All of a sudden there was a loud exclamation of "Surprise!" that scared Kurt out of his wits and made him tense in Blaine's arm and started hyperventilating as he recalled the last time he was 'surprised' on his birthday. He pried out of Blaine's grip and ran towards his room and down the stairs but before he was out of sight, he could hear Blaine's muffled "Baby?" that sounded hurt and confused at the same time.

He ignored it completely as he slammed his door shut, locked it, crouched in a corner and sobbed, occasionally hitting his head against the wall though he could still hear their bantering upstairs. He couldn't run away anymore. They had all seen him have a panic attack in his living room and it wasn't likely that they would leave anytime soon so after a few more bangs against the wall, he got up, dusted himself off and decided it was time to come out and tell them the truth.

**POV DIRECTIONs/BLAINE/SANTANA POV.**

Blaine was about to go after his boyfriend but was stopped when someone placed an arm on his shoulder and jerked him back. When he turned his head, he realized that Santana was glaring at him, burning holes through his head. He ignored Santana's warning glance and pushed out of her grip to get to Kurt. Santana then grabbed him more forcefully and pushed him back into one of the chairs that he noticed was Burt's favourite seat in the house.

"What the _hell_ Santana? What's wrong with you?" Blaine rubbed his neck and glared at Santana who only deepened her death glare.

"There is nothing wrong with _me_ but it looks like there is a lot wrong with all of _you_. I told you idiots not to throw this stupid party in the first place. I knew this would happen..._shit, fuck_," Santana cursed.

"What are you talking about?" Blaine's voice was now laced with concern for the boy who had basically saved his life.

Santana had to chuckle at the irony of things and how the tables had turned. The people in this roomed were supposedly Kurt's friends. One of which was supposed to be his step-brother and another, his boyfriend.

"It's not my secret to tell," Santana muttered.

"You're right it's not because it's mine," Kurt interrupted suddenly from the top of the stairs, which shocked everyone in the room, "You guys might want to sit down," Kurt continued as he took a stool from the kitchen and sat in the middle of the living room surrounded by all his friends. He smiled lovingly at Blaine who returned it, his showed love _and_ concern. He sighed and turned to Santana who gave him a stern nod, encouraging him to go on. He could see the glimpse of sadness and determination in her eyes as they stared into his.

"A lot of," he paused and let out a short breathy laugh, "Actually all of you, in fact, don't really know what happened to me before I was in High School. Yeah well, that's about to change. This is going to take a while so you should probably have a sleepover here tonight. It is my birthday anyway. I need you all to promise that throughout this entire story, no one will interrupt me by speaking or asking questions unless you raise-up your hand and I call on you. Yes, I'm going elementary teacher on you but this is all necessary if you want me to get it all out and I need to do this so _please_," he looked up and scanned the room desperately, looking for approval in their eyes. He was pleased when most of them nodded although some were uncertain. It didn't matter, as long as they kept their promise.

"I wasn't born in Ohio. Heck, I wasn't even born in America," he saw a few eyebrows shoot up at that and chuckled, "No, I was born in Bristol, England, where you wouldn't know the difference between homophobes and druggies. My mom lived there, she...uh...was forced to move with her family and she was lost. She was addicted to drugs and partied every night. She let herself be taken advantage of because she was never in the right mind to care about what happened to her. That was the case, at least, until my dad entered her life," he smiled as if on instinct as he remembered the dazed smile that was on his dad's face when he first told him the story of his mother's life.

"He was there because my granddad wanted to expand the 'Hummels' Tires and Lubes' to England so Bristol is where they started. 'Dream big, start small' was my granddad's motto. My mom went to fix her car and decided to use the new mechanic in town to bring it out for a test drive. They met and there was an instant chemistry, an instant connection and they became best friends almost instantly but what my mom, Elizabeth, didn't realize was that my dad was in love with her. Had been since they met," Kurt glanced at Blaine who immediately understood and smiled a sad smile back at him.

"My mom finally realized that she loved him too but she doubted herself because she didn't think anyone could love someone so broken but my dad persevered. He broke down all her walls and took care of her. She eventually stopped taking drugs after some help and stayed away from parties. Spending the time with my dad instead and they eventually confessed their feelings for one another. Oh, they were so in love. They dated for a whole month before things got chaotic. My mom found out that she was pregnant with me. They were both 19 and 20 respectively mind you and they were forced to get married because of it but they didn't care because they were soulmates," he scanned the room to judge everyone's judgement of the story so far. Most of them looked absorbed in the story and that gave him encouragement to continue.

"When I was born, my mom was a perfect mother-figure. She was supportive, caring and wanted nothing but the best for me so I grew up a happy kid. When I was 4 years old, my parents were so amazed by how I grew up, they wanted another child and thus Kelvin was born," everyone, except Santana, looked utterly confused by this statement because they had never heard of another brother that could have been part of his life. They all turned to face Finn in a creepily synchronised fashion and Finn was about to open his mouth to say something but he remembered the promise he had to Kurt and he didn't want to be blamed when Kurt stopped talking just because of him so he just shrugged and gestured to Kurt, urging him to elaborate.

"Yeah I never told anyone about my little brother but I adored him. I loved him so much and doted on him a lot too. In my school, at that time, people wouldn't care if you were gay but they sure as hell would push you around if you had as high as a voice as I did and dressed so fashionably. It wasn't all that bad though so my mom could easily take care of it but over the years, after Kelvin grew up a little bit, we discovered that he had tourette syndrome; an analogical disorder where his brain sends mixed signals to his body, causing him to make weird noises. That was the way _he_ always explained it anyway. In school I was known as fairy, girly boy and the one I hated the most: The kid with a freak brother. Everyone could hear the noises he made and I wasn't ashamed of him, he was still my little brother but things got worse when my mom was diagnosed with Cancer. It was inevitable considering the amount of drugs she took when she was a teenager," Kurt stared out into his balcony, getting lost in his memories, repressing a tear from falling. He promised himself he would go through the story with minimal crying.

"Then my nickname changed to 'the girly boy with a freak brother and a sick mother'," he shook his head when he saw the looks of anger on the guys' faces and pity on the girls'. He winced. He hated being looked at with pity.

"Kelvin was 4 years old at that time. He didn't understand much so I was the one people talked to about my mom and I hated it. I hated all the looks of pity they kept throwing my way. Then one day, I was in the kitchen trying to make myself and Kelvin breakfast while my dad was in the hospital with my mom and I accidentally cut myself with a sharp knife. It hurt but I noticed that it took my mind off my mom for a while and liked that feeling so instead of making breakfast, I took the knife and cut somewhere on my arm. I did that for about a week before my brother caught me doing it and begged me to stop. He may have been 4 but he knew what blood meant. He didn't like seeing blood so I stopped for _him_. A few days after that, my mom was gone. Just like that," he paused and took a deep breath. His friends looked horrified at the overwhelming news that had just poured out of Kurt's mouth in a monotone manner.

"Kelvin became everything to me after that. I became the protective brother stereotype and I still cut myself secretly but not deep enough for him to notice, just deep enough for me to notice because the bullying had gotten worse. Kids started learning new words like 'homosexual', 'gay' and 'faggot'," Kurt stated nonchalantly while his friends winced.

"It was my 10th birthday and Kelvin and I were playing soccer in the field near our home, waiting for dad to get back from work to finally celebrate my birthday. The ball rolled onto the road and being the older brother, I had to get it. I wasn't paying much attention to the road so I didn't notice the speeding car coming towards me. He ran so fast, called out my name and tried to push me out of the way but he didn't see that there were two cars _racing. _I saw him fall, he was crushed by the car. I cried myself into unconsciousness after seeing so much blood," Kurt was sobbing now, talking between hiccups. He couldn't hold it in much longer and it looked like his friends were facing the same problems. A few of the girls had their hands cupping their mouth, forcing themselves not to make a sound as they cried along with him, expecting the worst to happen. Kurt looked at Blaine with such a broken expression that in one swift movement, he ended up beside Kurt, embracing him and holding him tightly, he led them both to a Burt's chair again where Kurt continued.

"When I woke up, my dad was hovering above me, he looked _so_ stressed out, I lifted my hand and grabbed his. He stopped pacing and I begged him to tell me what happened to Kelvin. Kelvin was in direct impact and he was smaller than I was so his body couldn't handle it and he broke. His organs failed and he died on the surgery table. I lost the one thing I was supposed to protect with my life and I never forgave myself. After I was discharged from the hospital, I tried to kill myself. I did some research and took my favourite knife and pierced through my skin, getting as deep as possible," Kurt felt Blaine tighten his grip on him, "I blacked out and I thought that was the end of it but apparently I failed because I woke up in the hospital."

"My dad sent me to some therapist who said that I was selfish because I only thought of myself and not my dad and I was _so_ mad and broken that I believed her which only made my condition worse and I continued cutting. When my dad found out, he was furious," his friends gave him a disbelieving look, "at the therapist geez."

"He sent me to a group therapy instead and there, I met Justin, a guy who had gone through almost the same thing I did and we connected instantly. We helped each other out. Stopped each other from hurting ourselves more than we should and we were kind of healthy for a while," Kurt gave a small smile, "And again everything got bad, we were on our first date when a bunch of guys cornered us. They were drunk, or high, I didn't really know but we could smell something fishy in the air. Then they started beating the living shit out of us," Kurt rested his head on Blaine's chest as he let out a frustrated sigh.

"They kept calling us fags and said we needed to learn a lesson. I remembered two of them were touching me...everywhere and I was scared out of my mind, I couldn't even think. They just kept hitting and hitting. Then one of them took out a baseball bat. All of a sudden, everything was black. I woke up in the hospital," Kurt let out an emotionless laugh as he said, "I didn't know how many times I had been in that hospital until the nurses knew what show I liked to watch on the small television in the room, what flavour pudding I preferred.

"I had suffered from a few broken and bruised ribs, one of which punctured my lungs but they were able to save me in time. The guys had broken my arm and my leg. I had a concussion from the baseball bat but I was alive and that was what mattered. Justin, however, wasn't so lucky. He survived but he lost his memory. He forgot everything and I was lost again. Shortly after, I tried committing suicide again. my dad realized that Bristol wasn't safe anymore so we moved to the place he was born, Ohio and I will forever be grateful that I found you guys but my life in Bristol impacted me more than I realized because after Bristol, I never played Soccer or Baseball again. I started hating birthdays. I changed. I always hated hospitals and that will never change," Kurt was full out sobbing by the time he had finished talking and so was everyone else.

Blaine had kissed his temple and shoulder repeatedly throughout the time Kurt spend cuddled against him but his kisses ceased as he tried to control the tears that threatened to leak. Kurt shut his eyes and pressed himself closer to Blaine's side as he nuzzled his neck. One by one he felt his friends surround him and brought both him and Blaine into a group hug.

"Why don't you guys give him some space," Blaine suggested gently while everyone else nodded. Blaine brought Kurt back to his room in the basement and laid him gently on the soft bed. Blaine leaned down and placed his forehead against Kurt's whose eyes had travelled down to Blaine's lips. Taking that as permission, Blaine closed the gap between their lips and placed a soft, gentle kiss on Kurt's, moving against each other slowly at first. Kurt licked the bottom of Blaine's lips desperately, begging for permission for his tongue to explore Blaine's mouth and Blaine's parted his lips in response.

They parted when air became a necessity and just stared at each other. Blue-green-grey met hazel and they stared into each other's eyes, smiling contently.

"I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest. Karofsky stealing your first kiss wasn't the only reason you were so shaken up was it?" Blaine asked slowly.

Kurt sighed, swung his legs over the edge of the bed and placed his head in his hands, "No it wasn't the only reason why. When he...violated me I guess, I...um...just felt like I was back in that alley years ago and I felt so,_ so_ afraid. I just...I don't know I mean it wasn't technically my first kiss."

"Oh right...Brittany right?" Blaine nodded thoughtfully.

"No...not...not Brittany," Blaine frowned, his triangular eyebrows scrunched together. He looked at Kurt with confusion.

"Justin...we...uh...um...ugh," Kurt tried.

"You and Justin kissed before," Blaine helped to which Kurt only nodded and hung his head.

"Wait...but you said that it was your first kiss. I don't understand. Why did you lie to me?" Blaine asked; hurt clear in the tone of his voice.

"I didn't. Remember what I said to you on the steps that day?" Kurt prompted.

"That Karofsky was you first kiss...at least the first that counted," Blaine recalled.

Kurt bobbed his head from left to right, "Somewhat, yes because Brittany didn't count and neither did Justin. He lost his memory. He doesn't remember we kissed. He doesn't even remember _me._ _That_ to me, doesn't count as a first kiss. You will always be my first kiss because I only ever felt fireworks when I kissed you. I only felt safe when I kissed you. My kiss with you was the only one that mattered, the only one that matters and the one that I will remember forever as the greatest and most memorable moment in my life. I love you Blaine. I love _you_. Never forget that." Kurt planted a chased kiss on Blaine's lips. Blaine smiled in response and pulled Kurt back on the bed by his waist. Kurt let out a squeal and giggled into Blaine's chest.

Kurt finally realized that he felt safer, happier and less guilty all of a sudden because he had just spilled everything to his friends who had taken it surprisingly well. All the excuses he had given himself before were just that...excuses. He gave himself a reason not to tell them and now that it was out, he realized that he could always trust his friends no matter what and he would cherish them forever. He honestly couldn't believe that he had such awesome friends and he laughed as he looked at a now dozing Blaine. He also had an awesome boyfriend, a sweet, caring, kind, romantic boyfriend who he loved and loved him more than anything else in the world. He kissed Blaine's temple and lay next to him pressing his back even closer to Blaine who only tightened his grip and pulled Kurt back. This was the position their friends found them in when they went down to check if Kurt was alright and they swore that they would protect them at all costs because they had already been through enough.

**A/N: OMG that was long but I'm finally done and it took me a long time. I don't know much about Bristol other than what I saw from SKINS but I know or at least hope what I described in the story isn't true. If anyone wants to know more about Kurt's mom, Elizabeth, or his brother, Kelvin, and their story then I might write it to make it either a two-shot or three-shot depending on what you want. Of course it won't be as lengthy but it will explain more. There will probably be a sequel with another person in Glee. Tell me in the reviews who you want me to write about. Thanks guys. LOVE YOU. PLEASE REVIEW**


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